A good day to raise a tankard to Olidammara!
I was raising my fourth when I received your mmmissive to send in my report. I’m certain our tricksy god appreciated your “gentle” reminder. This rash bettter go away soon!
In teh meantim I write you now.
In reshent days we received a map from Lyra (who’s totally into me) to a former fortress of hers. It was delivered to her by a group of hobgoblins glamored to look like elves and humans.(Why did she need a map to get to her own fortress?)
Inside theis fortress theres a green crystal. We’re gonna get it. Suppossedly tis’ the “Manifestation of the Empresses Will” OOOOooooOOOOOOooooo! and it’s super duper dangerful.
So before we left! we spread the rumor that we was lookkn for Cyrus’s sister. Cyrus says he likes her butt. heh.
Bandit attacks in entsns dwarf big red lizzard attack? Ah I just spilled my drink. best gegt another!
So! witht he map, we decided it was gonna tak 5 days to get to where we needed to get. First day was boring. BOOORRRINGGG1
sTART OF THE SECOND DAY we decided to send the horses badk to the port town, Cullenfast cause it was all climby climby after that. we cept the ponies as pack though. Theyr’e really good at carrying stuff we need. We sent 8 gold with the horses and a note asking for 20 days of stableing.
So! We began climing up the mountain. I gotta say. Stoneshape ROXXXXX! i MADE this awesome path with the Stoneshape and then almost fell off of it. GO ME! Aftwrds I summoned earth elemental dudes to make us a shelter. THEY ROXXX TOOOOOO! And getta (is that how you spell her name?) made up pots of ressist elements. Brundle (is that how ou spell HIS name?) was scared theyd make him all horney again. I don’t think I dramk one.
So! Day 3! Mor Stoneshapping and suummongoing earth elementalists to get us up the mountain1
Here’s where I get awsome. On Day 4 I was in the middle of this awesome, like I said, Stoneshape job when this loud “Blahp!!!” sound and gust of flame made us crap ourselves. 2 fire drakes each with a goblin spear dude and a goblin bow dude mounted on them . Isaid “mounted.” heh.
Anywhosers, Brundle whooped some serious barabaric gnomishnesss all over them and killed them all. It waqs REALLLY sweet. and I made thre new skellies! whoopWhoop!
Later I discovered thru my superior coolness that those weren’t fire drakes. The’re called “Red Spawn” in this kneck of the woods.
Oh wait! We didn’t kill em all righ away. We talked to one. He said something like, " we’d rode from garah-esh, a fortress in a valley." He told us that there’s like 2 other patrols iwth a host campled outside. And that there’s theese tunels under into the fortress through these 2 ruined towers. New Verelian border is a total tunnerl entrance…..somthing…somethingl…..Emerald Scourge reborn, the undying lord of tegalen, “Thontalak reborn”.
she sounds like a complte badass. legend says taht she could travel instantly between fortresses which eventually blew up. Speaking of which, I need to instantly travel to the loo in a mo. Seven tankards can really go through a girl!
So! On Day 5 after we rested up cause those Red Spawn hurt somthing fierce I noticed this eye. Seriously, an eye. It was the size of a big orange, watching our camp. Seriously icky. It pooofffed awa tho.
It’s kinda earie to think you’re being watched an no onne’s paying coin.
So we got to the tower at the middle of Day 5 and decided to head back in in good light so we made camp for th night. Oh, the tower was ruined from all the exploding. But then! Remember Kaneda? I always liked him. Well he showed up that night with, like a gagillion illumiens and asked for teh book from Brundle but brundle gave it to the dragon chickie (who was super hot) a while back. Kaneda was piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssed.
I’m not concerned. We’ve got a ghnome full of kickass!
So! That’s all I got. Gonna pee.
If i could me glamored. I’d be a fairie with gossamer wingssssszzz.